Do I really want to date?

How's my dating going? Not great. Have I been on a date yet? Nope. Do I like a couple of guys from the dating website? Just the one. Do I think he wants to meet me? No chance.

I say I haven't been on a date yet but I have met up with someone. We started speaking to each other and a couple of hours later, he was round at mine. Not in that way you dirty minx... he came to kill a spider. I'm petrified of them and there was one cosied up in the corner of my bedroom. He travelled 30 minutes to kill it for me and we spent a couple of hours getting to know each other. I thought he was lovely - the feeling obviously wasn't mutual. He doesn't speak to me any more. Nice. Way to boost my confidence.  

As for the guy I like... well, he lives quite the distance from me. 2 hours. I don't think it's bad - he's hot, nice and sarcastic - Sarcasm makes me go weak at the knees - but I don't think he feels the same. He claims that he likes me but he says the distance is an issue. He's said a couple of times that we should stop speaking... still texting to this day. It's confusing and I'm starting to want to give up. But you know when a guy has a hold on you? Yup, that. And I can't let go.

I'm starting to wonder if dating is for me. This website is getting me down. No dates but lots of empty compliments that mean nothing to me. I've had offers for dates but I can't accept them. I don't want to go on a date with just someone. I want to like him beforehand a bit. Maybe that's my issue, maybe I don't give guys a chance because I'm scared of them falling for me. Or ending up ignoring me like spiderman. I'm contemplating forgetting my relationship mission. I just want hot, steamy sex with a beautiful guy right now. Maybe that's more my cup of tea. Who knows? Freshers week soon. Could be the week...

A little bit about me

When it comes to writing this blog, I'm going to try and remain as anonymous as possible. However, I do believe that a little bit of background information is necessary and for that reason, my first post is an introductory one.

Yes, I am a blogger and I've been blogging on a separate fashion, lifestyle and beauty blog for nearly four years now. It's become my passion, my life and I absolutely adore it. But there's another side to me and I can firmly hold my hands up high and say that that yes, I'm a dating virgin. I've never been on a date. I've been out with a few guys (two to be exact) but both of them were friends beforehand. You see, I class a date as being a casual meeting between two people that allows them to get to know each other. And for the first time in my life, I've decided that I need to get myself out there, meet a few guys and date. I've opened up an account on Plenty of Fish and I'm ready to experience the world of dating. And being the blogger that I am, I've decided to document it all for your entertainment purposes.

So, onto the important facts...

Age: 20

Residency: UK

Relationship Status: Single (of course)

Occupation: Student

The reason that I believe I've never been on a date is because I'm quite reserved. I'm someone who wants love and because of that, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm naive and I've been hurt in the past. So when it comes to boys, I find it hard to trust and open up to them. I also suffer with anxiety when it comes to meeting new people and regardless of how much I want to meet someone, my anxiety pops it head out and doesn't allow me to do so. But enough is enough. 20 years is too long and I'm going to take the leap and hopefully enjoy myself along the way.

I'm not sure how long it will be before I get a date - I have a few guys currently lined up (ooh, how fancy!) but it may take me a while to push myself before it's set in stone. But hold on. I'm hoping this will be an interesting blog.